...it gets you going...

Next Friday will be April, after that May, after that summer...

Looking at how close it is to the end of the semester, I am surprised, firstly it’s because  the semester is almost over and secondly, how far I have gone since the first day (of the semester.)My motivation level is still at the same level as it was; excited, ready to “rock and roll.” Not being boastful though, I just have reasons or the motivation(s) to do so. Firstly, I wanted to redeem myself, last semester I was in a class but dropped, in retrospect it was about the same time (now) when I quit. Of course, I had to take the class again; it’s ironic though how right now were on the same chapter as I was when I dropped the class. With that said, I am more confident due to the fact, I can do it!

Secondly, my scholarship, I was awarded a performance-based scholarship. Meaning in order for the awardee to claim it, he/she has to send a transcript: with 6 units minimum, gpa of 2.5 minimum. I was not able to claim, because or those requirements. Fortunately, I can still claim it. Although the scholarship is a big factor of why I am motivated to do well, it is not entirely just that. I do not get any financial help, therefore my parents pay the tuition and it is nowhere inexpensive. With the scholarship, it is as if, I do get financial aid, the money not only will support my education but also my parents, it will reduce the amount of what they will actually spend.

Lastly, my parents; I owe my life to them. I would like to (in the future) repay them through, pampering. I believe by the time I am finished with school and became a nurse ( for few years,) they will be or soon be retiring, my Dad has mentioned his plans or wishes once he’s retired; go back to the Philippines with my mother and just be on “vacation.” I would like to give them that, comfort, relaxation, happiness.  

hire a planner

I do not really make plans except going to school and such, but I do carry a planner to remind me of due dates, home works, etc. Outside school life, I did made plans of going to dinner and watching the fireworks with my significant other last Sunday (2/20) and we did what our plan was except that we missed the fireworks, which we fortunately saw while were on the freeway (ha.) As for next week (well I always debate with myself on this) I am still deciding on when to go to math lab, do I go right after class on Tuesday or Thursday? I usually just go with Thursday because, on Tuesdays I have class in the afternoon and I sort of just want to rest and get my mind and self ready for the next class. Its just my “thing,” I think others would just choose to go on a Tuesday and get it over with but being a time freak that I am, I always have to give about two hours of getting ready it may even be paranoia. I do not know why but I have to be in school about an hour or so early before my class starts, it gives me time to review or shall I say anticipate what may occur in the class. As for adjustments, I ought to make-up a lab for (reading) since I forgot this Wednesday; I suppose I was too excited for a two-day break. To conclude, I am still working on how to plan my schedule practically, I have plan things that I have done as plan but of course some are yet to be done in time

My heart will go on...

Titanic, when I hear it I think of the film not the tragedy behind it. Though the story of Jack and Rose is a work of fiction, it is a story that has touch my heart and taught me a lesson; the ambiguity of life.

Some would say their story or their feelings was pure infatuation due to the fact they met one night and basically became in love the next day; a part of me agrees they are infatuated because they both found someone whom posses the same liking (of art) and I guess just to live life. On another note I believe that as an audience I cannot say they are infatuated or in love or just label them; I just think I cannot ever judge unless I am in that situation, though it is just merely a film about sinking of a ship that is thought unsinkable and was thrown a love story around it, it still could happen its plausible that you meet the love of your life and then he/she could be gone in a heart beat.

           The lesson I have learned, only oneself can tell what she/he can do whether its love or choices. Choices, I have choices but it is up to me whether to let life choose for me or myself (in the film Rose thought she does not have a choice due to their financial situation and being she is a woman but when she met Jack he was a wake up call to her that even she can do what she wishes.) As for life, Jack & Rose met one night, talked and fell the next day, and Rose lost Jack the next night; in a matter of 3 days or so, they found love and hope amongst each other. This showed how one could have the best day of his/her life and the worst the next day; but it is your choice what to do while you are living the best and how you will cope in the worst. In the film, Rose lived her best day well the moment she realized it will be the best day of her life and after she lost Jack she cope with it by listening to his wishes and remembering the joy he helped her recognize, she can have if she desires to. To conclude, their story let helped me understand that life is a gift and not to waste or take advantage of it while I still have it. (-jack)

"the things I carried,carrying,will carry"

               I carried the guilt of being a rude granddaughter; I was basically raised by my grandparents well my grandfather almost, he passed away about 7 years ago.I still remember that day, its a school day I was in the 7thgrade I woke up about to take a shower and I hear my mother sobbing perhaps, I knew. After that is a blur, I m on the school bus crying my friend next to me, without any question. I appreciated that. I got school and I walked around and around and around waiting for the class to start, then I decided to tell my friends and of course that lifted a little weight. I dont even remeber if my mother said anything when I got home that day and neither did I wanted to ask questions, all i know is that his suffering is now done and he is with my grandmother now; she waited 15 years for him.
              I still carry and always will, carry the fact I have hurt his feelings. My grandfather was very healthy man, he still rode his bike at 70+, then reality sets in; I just remmber my aunt saying he vomitted blood and I remember goin to the hospital, but I was a still a polite granddaughter when that happened. I dont remember and neither will want to, but next thing I know his speech is slurred and his feet are swollen and hes just sitting on this beige chair that has a big backrest; I honestly dont recall after I saw him like that. Rude, after church (like we have done from who knows when ) we would go to my grandparent's home and say hello,  after his stroke, we still go but as i hug my grandfather I just cannot wait to go home. Most of the time he would speak and I thought the sound of his slurred words were so horrible. There are times I wished goin to their home was not something we have been accustomed to. Everytime he spoke with his slurred words I wanted leave. I did not understand why I acted or felt that way, not until I was a sophomore in highschool and enrolled in psychology class; we had to write an essay onm how psychology has somehow help you figure with life( well it was something like that.) Thats when I realized what it was, "denial." I was denying the fact he was sick, I was denying the fact he cannot anymore ride his bike because of that stroke; the stroke took  my grandfather, the one I know.